How to break up with your psychopathic MDM girlfriend without her burning down your BYoD house!

Let’s face it.  I confess.  I was in love with her, too.  She was going to keep all my users’ devices safe.  She was going to let me go out at night knowing that all the stuff in my house would be there when I came home.  She was going to keep my grandmother’s photos on the mantle safe.

But then, I quickly realized that my friends hated her.  They didn’t want her on their phones.  She interrupted their life.  They were afraid she was stalking her and said she had severe control issues.  She’d show up at their house without warning.  She’d change their email inbox and never apologize.  They’d come home and realized that she had changed the locks on THEIR phones.

She promised to do my laundry, to be nice to all my friends, to create this “safe place” where all my friends’ apps would be accessible, to keep them out of jail, to make sure they never had problems with getting access to my wifi & stuff.

But then it happened.  She wanted access to my wallet, wanted me to buy her dinner but never said “Thank you”.  I loved my MDM girlfriend.  But sometimes love is blind.  Her profile was perfect.  She was going to make my BYoD life perfect.

Gartner, to their credit, even told me that there were going to be better girlfriends.  Ones that were worth marrying and who wouldn’t want any money.  And those girlfriends would come with other friends and benefits.  (NOTE:  NOT friends WITH benefits!)

I tried to make it work.  I was faithful.  I was a loyal boyfriend.  But I finally realized.  It just wasn’t going to work.  I had to let go.

My ex-girlfriends…  AirWatch… MobileIron… IBM… In my rearview mirror… my past…  pretty on the outside… warm hands… cold hearts… And wanted me to pay to keep dating them.  What do they call that down at the police station!?!

My new MDM girlfriends?

  • Microsoft…  (Yes, she already lives with me.  I’m not proud of it.  But she’s with me for the long term.  I might as well invite her to go out with me.)
  • Blackberry… (Yes, her!)
  • VMWare…  (Yeah, yeah, I know.  She’s AirWatch with a new hairdo & wardrobe.  But she found a really good therapist and is close to working through all those needy, control issues.)

My friends & I are going to marry our new MDM girlfriends.  They don’t ask for money.  They aren’t controlling of me & my friends.  They are comfortable

I’ll admit, for some of you who still plan to keep dating my exes, they are a really good fit.  You have friends who need and like them.  And I respect that and support you in that.

But for the majority of us, we want to spend our $$$ on locking down our applications, securing our cloud investments, blocking the fast emerging threats of mobile malware, and providing just those restrictions on the mobile devices that our friends need.  And they play nice in the house that I’ve already built.

If you interested to learn more about how you can find a new MDM relationship – one that will be natural & beautiful and not cost you a dime, reply back.  And we’ll give you a glimpse of what your new life will be like with her.

(Full disclosure: InterWorks does not sell Microsoft nor Blackberry nor AirWatch – nor do we have any plans to do so.)

Leave a Comment